Monday, June 30, 2008

Why Marriage?

When I was young….in class 10 or 11, I still remember the reaction at home when I used to bring my friends home (…of the fairer sex). My family was quite modern and they never said anything to me but I always got the occasional comment about how early this was to get a girl-friend and how I should have my priorities in order.

Today, strangely the situation has reversed. I’m 26 now….and believe me this is not the age for a bachelor to be around their family and relatives. All questions seem to be revolving around a girl. Do I have anyone special in my life? Should we start looking for someone? You’re already 26, you should start taking this seriously! I know of this Priya…Shriya girl, would you like to meet her? And the questions go on…

The irony off course is I am currently really not into this marriage thing. I have been through a long relationship and now I’m at a place in my life where I just want to concentrate on other things. Building a strong position in my career, having fun with my friends on my own terms, investments, stock markets……basically just being independent and aloof from all the responsibilities that are associated with marriage.

Somehow the concept of marriage does scare me… Maybe it’s because I just haven’t found the right girl. But what worries me more is how I will ever know if the person I will meet is the ‘Right’ girl? I personally dis-like making compromises with my life….specially when it comes to friendship and the lifestyle I am currently used too… What if the girl I like doesn’t appreciate my friends or doesn’t like my life-style? Most people might compromise and distance themselves from their friends or their earlier life-style…..this is where I know I will fail. Friendship is the most important thing to me and in such a situation I would probably stand by my friendship…I say this not as an assumption but out of experience. What’s more is that I would do this without a blink of an eye. Some might agree with me while most others would tell me to get my priorities straight. Some might call me hard-hearted but I call it honesty. And some might just say – ‘A Typical Sagittarian’. Fortunately or unfortunately this is who I am and I am proud of it.

However I must say, I’m confused and intrigued at the same time at what the future has in store for me. I wish I could see 5 years into the future and see who my future partner is and to see when I finally gave into marriage. I am curious to know if I have I already met her somewhere? Is she in my life today? Questions that will all remain unanswered till the time comes or till I invent a time machine (and I presume the latter is not likely to happen in this lifetime).

I pray I find my soul-mate some day (if there is such a thing as a soul-mate), and maybe one day we would be sitting together reading this Blog and laughing at how things have changed and how we were so immature then.

However, as of today the 30th day of June in the year 2008 AD, I still ask my self Why marriage? There is still time…. Isn’t there?

8 comments:

Silfar Daga said...

Though the feelings resound with me as well - I look into it from different perspective...
When we are happy and fulfilled here with all that we have - Why risk and venture out for/with unknown.. I know the "Sane Voices" will say Ships cannot reach destination till they are in Safe harbours. But what if the Harbour is destination enough for me... Why do I have to bother myself and (un)significant half's soul with troubles of adjusting, compromising and all...
All in all I think it is the fear of unknown, some laziness and complacency with Present that scares you and me away from the Conjugal bliss.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm...i dnt think i need to remind u how i hated the fact of getting married!!!the long discussions dat v used to have...but den dis guy came into my life..n changed my view...(i knw mushy mushy...but so true)..i guess all MBA friends will agree dat how much efforts was put by Amit to mk dis really happen....and i still strongly b'lve..watever happens , happens for our good...so wait for the right person popsy...n waise very soon live-in will be legalised..hahahahahaha..wat say?? ;)

Rohan said...

No one likes change....but change is nature's way of progressing... Like life, we must learn to take risks and accept change.

I know i will eventually get married...and i strangely feel i will find my soul-mate...Above all i agree with my dotsy... "Everything that happens, happens for the best"...So, i'll wait...wait for the right girl and hope i am as lucky as my dotsy and pray that this girl is equally patient.

Shilpa Kavadia said...

I hope you do not have patience to wait till u r 40 (for ur and my own good) ;)

Anonymous said...

Guys just a small question... is it only me who did not understand what shilpa has written over here???


Itni bhaari bharkam angrezi kaahe likhte ho bhai!

;)

Silfar Daga said...

if u r talking about rohan's being 40 wala comment - then sorry cannot explain in writing - else he ll take it as evidence against me...
and ussse pehle ke comment ki baat hian --- then sarkar hum consulting mein hain baat batane ka fir use samjane ka hi tho paisa hian na is job mein.....

Anonymous said...

i think v r afraid of "unknown"
who is s/he? what is s/he?
is s/he understand me? does i understand her/him.
can i'll be happy with her/him?
can i make her/him happy?
does s/he cry when i am crying?
dose s/he hold me when i need?
is s/he wright for me and for my family?
can i give power to a unknown to heart me? to love me? to laugh on me? to cry with me.

i don't want to see my self in love.

i can't care for her/him.

i have my life i can't share it with anyone.

i need my space..

what about my friends?

.......lots of Q? and lines like this.


i thing i can say there is no love in world it all about needs.
i love u because i need u, not because u need me.

first find ur needs,
marriage is not mandatory.

if u like some one live with her/him. once u find now u r not comfortable with her/him just say a sweet goodbye :)

whats wrong in it!!!

one life live it.....

-Nayan

Anonymous said...

Rohan, you truly can become a widely accepted and admired author like 'Chetan Bhagat' some day.Your lines engulf reality completely and almost everyone at your age thinks the same way BUT, the life ahead also has a lot to offer. Your unseen (which still u want to see in that dreamy Time Machine) future will surely have a life-partner whom you can call your better-half in all ways including the acceptance of your lifestyle and your friends ofcourse.But this also requires the same contribution from your side. If you dont have any problem with her lifestyle and friends,even she won't have it. This blissful relationship is not about compromise my friend, its about understanding each other and more than that, 'giving adequate space to each other'.
Life is really beautiful after marriage when you have someone taking care of your slightest cold, even a sneeze. :)The statement does'nt motivate you to marry a doctor but believe me, she'll be better than that. :)
It took months for me to understand this and that now i am married to the same person i loved and who loved me for the last 5 years, i can answer your last question.. 'You still have time dear, d time not to wait but to explore your love.'